May 13, 2007
One of the things I struggled with my girl's school's Parent-Teacher Foundation is a sense of tenseness and unfriendliness. I was reminded of it while reading a post by Becky about a book she read. In this post she talks about a book written by a lady who lived for a year as a man. One of the things she pointed out from the book is the authors observation of camaraderie.
In order to get a better understanding of male camaraderie, Ned/Norah joined a bowling league and she was surprised at how quickly he was considered to be part of "the group," whereas women are usually on their guard when meeting new women and there's kind of a dance of proving one's self before being accepted. Ned/Norah had never bowled before and was pretty awful, and even though they were playing for money, these regular "joe" type of guys were actually quite supportive and helpful to try to improve her game.
Or, at another point, there was a guy that was bowling a perfect game and as he was throwing his last strike, all the men the building stopped playing, stood up and clapped for the guy. Norah realized that, on the other hand, women are so competitive and aggressive that they have difficulty being supportive and congratulatory for someone else that's more successful -- and especially for someone that's not a close friend or family member. So true.
I was frustrated (along with other things) with the PTF because I did not feel accepted. Everyone seemed standoffish unless I had meet them through my girls class. If I saw someone from the meetings outside of the meeting times, they would not talk or say "Hello." I did not realize how much this bothered me until it changed.
Last week I helped with Field Day. I took a day of vacation and helped with the food. I chopped fruit, assisted a dad at the grill, helped set up, and helped clean up. It was a hard day and I had a chance to talk and work with several PTF Officers.
The next day I was able to take my girls to school and I ran across one of the officers who had been standoffish and she went out of her way to say "Hello!" I was amazed. Then another one did the same thing.
I did notice that a few times they made comments about lack of parent help and how it was always the same parents who did help. Maybe they have an overall resentment to parents who don't help. Until you prove that you will, then you are not fully accepted.
What will I take from this? Next year, since I am now comfortable with it all, I will friendly to all. Like the Ambassador of Parent Involvement. Maybe people will be more apt to be involved if they feel welcome.
February 17, 2007
Must. Control. Leading.
Learning to control my "leading" may prove to be more difficult than I think. At my current job I have stepped easily into a leadership role. And co-workers have easily let me. At one point I was a supervisor and managed people. Even though I don't do that now, I still "manage" people to help me complete tasks I need to do my job. I am not bossy, but generally give guidance and whatever support I can.
It has been easy for me to step up since I realize most people don't want to lead. They don't want to make decisions and to be held accountable for their choices. Eh, I don't have a problem with that. And my way may not be the right way to get it done, but I have found that if you give people a direction they will give you feedback on what will work. Then you are on the right track.
I also have little tolerance for things not getting done. I have high expectations of others, but I also expect the same from myself.
This ease of leadership may not come so easy with the PTA at my girl's school. Or I need to scope it out a little longer. But I really want to step in and lead. I am itching to do so. And I need to work on my tolerance of things NOT getting done. Bleh.
January 19, 2007
Maximum Participation cont....
Do you remember when I posted about our girl's school PTF President wanting to have the meetings on Friday's at 3:15 to maximize participation? At the time they ended up having two meetings. One on Friday's at 3:15 and one on Thursday's at 7:00 p.m.
But now it has changed again. Our PTF Prez no longer has Friday's off, so we are now having one meeting in the evenings.
Heh.*
quoted from Bou
August 24, 2006
Maximum Participation?
Last week we received our first letter about the schools Parent Teacher Foundation aka PTF. Below is a excerpt:
"To bring the maximum amount of participation into the PTF, we would like to try a new concept this year. I am a working parent, just as many of us are these days, and we seem to have verylittletime for meetings in the evenings due to family needs and after schoolactivities. What we would like to propose, is to schedule PTF Meetings once a month on Fridays after school starting at 3:15 pm and promise to keep them as short as possible. ...."
My husband sent her feedback via email. My removal of personal details are in italics.
Hi:
My name is Amy's hubby and I have two daughters, Oldest and Youngest, at XXXXX school. Yesterday Oldest brought home your message regarding the PTF for the 2006-2007 school year. After reading it, I am extremely disappointed in the "proposal" to hold PTF meetings at 3:15 in the afternoon.
You mention in your message that you are a working parent and that the time of 3:15 was "proposed" in consideration of working parents' being busy in the evenings. I wonder how many working parents have the ability to be in far south Fort Worth at 3:15 on a work day. I know I don't. I know my wife doesn't. I doubt many working parents who are self-employed or in outside sales of some kind have the flexibility to attend PTF meetings scheduled during a work day.
I think that almost any parent who can attend a PTF meeting at 3:15 on a work day could also attend one at 5:15 or 6:15 or 7:15. The converse is most certainly not true. There are many, many parents who could attend a PTF meeting at 5:15 or 6:15 or 7:15 who simply cannot attend one at 3:15. Now, it may be that the parents who can attend at 3:15 have other activities which they *choose* to give priority over a later PTF meeting, but that is a choice they have to make for themselves and their children. Most working parents do not have a meaningful choice as to whether they can attend a PTF meeting at 3:15 on a work day; it is simply out of the question.
The "proposed" start time affects more than working parents. What will a stay-at-home parent do with their school-aged children during the 3:15 PTF meeting? Will the children be expected or required to attend the meeting as well? Will there be a room with supervision for these children while the PTF meeting is held? Will the parent be expected to hire a babysitter, or have a spouse come home early, to take care of the children during the meeting?
I think that the "proposal" to hold PTF meetings at 3:15 on a work day is so exclusionary of so many people that it needs to be re-examined and subject to the input of more people. I can't speak for others in this regard, but one of the reasons we chose to send out daughters to a private school was to be able to be more involved in their education. The "proposal" to hold the PTF meetings at 3:15 on a work day completely removes PTF involvement as an option for our family and I am hopeful that it will be changed so that we, and other families with parents who don't get off work by 3:00, can be involved.
Thanks for your time,
Amy's hubby
My name is Amy's hubby and I have two daughters, Oldest and Youngest, at XXXXX school. Yesterday Oldest brought home your message regarding the PTF for the 2006-2007 school year. After reading it, I am extremely disappointed in the "proposal" to hold PTF meetings at 3:15 in the afternoon.
You mention in your message that you are a working parent and that the time of 3:15 was "proposed" in consideration of working parents' being busy in the evenings. I wonder how many working parents have the ability to be in far south Fort Worth at 3:15 on a work day. I know I don't. I know my wife doesn't. I doubt many working parents who are self-employed or in outside sales of some kind have the flexibility to attend PTF meetings scheduled during a work day.
I think that almost any parent who can attend a PTF meeting at 3:15 on a work day could also attend one at 5:15 or 6:15 or 7:15. The converse is most certainly not true. There are many, many parents who could attend a PTF meeting at 5:15 or 6:15 or 7:15 who simply cannot attend one at 3:15. Now, it may be that the parents who can attend at 3:15 have other activities which they *choose* to give priority over a later PTF meeting, but that is a choice they have to make for themselves and their children. Most working parents do not have a meaningful choice as to whether they can attend a PTF meeting at 3:15 on a work day; it is simply out of the question.
The "proposed" start time affects more than working parents. What will a stay-at-home parent do with their school-aged children during the 3:15 PTF meeting? Will the children be expected or required to attend the meeting as well? Will there be a room with supervision for these children while the PTF meeting is held? Will the parent be expected to hire a babysitter, or have a spouse come home early, to take care of the children during the meeting?
I think that the "proposal" to hold PTF meetings at 3:15 on a work day is so exclusionary of so many people that it needs to be re-examined and subject to the input of more people. I can't speak for others in this regard, but one of the reasons we chose to send out daughters to a private school was to be able to be more involved in their education. The "proposal" to hold the PTF meetings at 3:15 on a work day completely removes PTF involvement as an option for our family and I am hopeful that it will be changed so that we, and other families with parents who don't get off work by 3:00, can be involved.
Thanks for your time,
Amy's hubby
We checked with some other parents to make sure we were not out of line in our thoughts about the 3:15 meeting time as crazy. If I had to pick a time to have the least amount of people there, while still seeming like I am being helpful, I would pick this time. Friday? Puuuulease. Working parents can be there at 3:15? Good grief!
The plot thickens from here but I will let it play out before I share the details, if I do.
