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May 13, 2007

Ambassador of Parent Involvement

One of the things I struggled with my girl's school's Parent-Teacher Foundation is a sense of tenseness and unfriendliness. I was reminded of it while reading a post by Becky about a book she read. In this post she talks about a book written by a lady who lived for a year as a man. One of the things she pointed out from the book is the authors observation of camaraderie.

In order to get a better understanding of male camaraderie, Ned/Norah joined a bowling league and she was surprised at how quickly he was considered to be part of "the group," whereas women are usually on their guard when meeting new women and there's kind of a dance of proving one's self before being accepted. Ned/Norah had never bowled before and was pretty awful, and even though they were playing for money, these regular "joe" type of guys were actually quite supportive and helpful to try to improve her game.

Or, at another point, there was a guy that was bowling a perfect game and as he was throwing his last strike, all the men the building stopped playing, stood up and clapped for the guy. Norah realized that, on the other hand, women are so competitive and aggressive that they have difficulty being supportive and congratulatory for someone else that's more successful -- and especially for someone that's not a close friend or family member. So true.

I was frustrated (along with other things) with the PTF because I did not feel accepted. Everyone seemed standoffish unless I had meet them through my girls class. If I saw someone from the meetings outside of the meeting times, they would not talk or say "Hello." I did not realize how much this bothered me until it changed.

Last week I helped with Field Day. I took a day of vacation and helped with the food. I chopped fruit, assisted a dad at the grill, helped set up, and helped clean up. It was a hard day and I had a chance to talk and work with several PTF Officers.

The next day I was able to take my girls to school and I ran across one of the officers who had been standoffish and she went out of her way to say "Hello!" I was amazed. Then another one did the same thing.

I did notice that a few times they made comments about lack of parent help and how it was always the same parents who did help. Maybe they have an overall resentment to parents who don't help. Until you prove that you will, then you are not fully accepted.

What will I take from this? Next year, since I am now comfortable with it all, I will friendly to all. Like the Ambassador of Parent Involvement. Maybe people will be more apt to be involved if they feel welcome.

Posted by on May 13, 2007 07:53 PM |

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